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I'm afraid of men  Cover Image Book Book

I'm afraid of men / Vivek Shraya.

Summary:

"A powerful meditation on the damaging effects of masculinity from a trans girl--a writer with celebrated indie roots and a knack for dismantling assumptions and challenging the status quo. Toxic masculinity takes many insidious forms, from misogyny and sexual harassment to homophobia, transphobia, and bullying. Vivek Shraya has firsthand experience with nearly all of them. As a boy, Vivek exhibited "feminine" qualities. The men in her life immediately and violently disapproved. They taught her to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon used to hurt her. They taught her to hate her femininity, to destroy the best parts of herself. In order to survive, Vivek had to learn to convincingly perform masculinity. As a girl, she's still afraid. Having spent years undoing the damage and salvaging her lost girlhood, she is haunted by the violence of men, seldom dressing the way she wants in public. As a result she is often still perceived as male, stirring feelings of guilt and self-doubt: Am I not feminine enough? Is this my fault for striving to be the perfect man and excelling at it? I'm Afraid of Men is a culmination of the years Vivek spent observing men and creating her own version of manhood. Through deeply personal reflection, she offers a rare and multifaceted perspective on gender and a hopeful reimagining of masculinity at a time when it's needed more than ever."-- Provided by publisher.

Record details

  • ISBN: 9780735235939
  • Physical Description: 85 pages ; 19 cm
  • Publisher: [Toronto, Ontario] : Penguin, 2018.
Subject: Shraya, Vivek, 1981-
Transgender people > Canada > Biography.
Gender expression > Canada > Biography.
Gender identity > Canada > Biography.
Sex differences.
Masculinity.
Topic Heading: SOGI
Sexual orientation and gender identity

Available copies

  • 1 of 1 copy available at Vancouver Island University Library.

Holds

  • 0 current holds with 1 total copy.
Show All Copies
Location Call Number / Copy Notes Barcode Shelving Location Circulation Modifier Holdable? Status Due Date Courses
VIU Library - Nanaimo Campus PS 8637 H73 Z46 2018 (Text) M011926945 STACKS Volume hold Available -

  • Kirkus Reviews : Kirkus Reviews 2018 August #2
    In this collection of brief and poignant memories, trans artist and musician Shraya (The Boy & the Bindi, 2016, etc.) reflects on how men exert control over the ways in which people express identity. Experiences with harassment trained South Asian-Canadian Shraya to camouflage herself among straight men. She altered the way she walked, the way she dressed, and what food she purchased at the grocery store. Through vignettes from different stages of her life—as an adolescent with a "budding sashay" and "soprano laughter," as an adult seeking affection from gay men in bars, and then as an openly trans woman developing her career in music—she shares the rejection and the pressure she faced for not fitting into a white enough or skinny enough mold and for not conforming to men's expectations of her sexuality. Her fear formed "because of cumulative damage" from "everyday experiences." Not only does she critique the way men treat women, but she examines the problems with societal expectations of men as well as the need to "celebrate gender creativity." Shraya crafts each of her memories in prose made poetic with touches of metaphor. She writes with honesty and vulnerability, all the while asking challenging and personal questions that inspire deeper reflection. This crucial addition to shelves offers the vital and often ignored perspective of a trans woman of color. A book to carry with you. (Nonfiction. 16-adult) Copyright Kirkus 2018 Kirkus/BPI Communications. All rights reserved.
  • LJ Express Reviews : LJ Express Reviews
    In this slim volume, Shraya (even this page is white) ruminates on ways fearing men has shaped her life and her modes of engaging with femininity as an out trans woman. Tracing her childhood and the evolving journey of her own gender identity and expression, the artist offers a tender yet haunting view of male danger, misogyny, and the far-reaching violence of socialized masculinity through a mix of personal disclosure and addresses to men who changed her life for better or worse. Her accounts of the endless adjustments she undertook both to blend in with men and to protect herself from them will resonate with many, particularly when she is describing the exhaustion of a marginalized person living with constant vigilance. The text flows more like an extended essay, seamlessly weaving raw personal anecdotes with broader social theory and calls to action, smartly positing the academic and political as inextricable from the personal. VERDICT A critical text that serves as a brief, memorable treatise on gender and sexuality and a vulnerable introspection on trauma and accountability.—Ashleigh Williams, School Library Journal (c) Copyright 2018. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

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